The things you don't learn in school

Next Monday, my niece, Taylor, will turn 17. She only has a couple weeks left of her Junior year. Pretty soon she will be a Senior and then off to college and adulthood. I've been reflecting on the wisdom I need to share with her before she leaves the protection of home and heads out into the world. Things every young lady should know. Things that I learned the hard way...or learned from watching Judge Judy/Dr Phil. I've decided to post these publicly, incase someone else needs to learn these as well.



1. Never co-sign for anyone. Relative, friend or boyfriend...especially boyfriend. Your credit is an important commodity. Don't trust someone else with it.

2. Never get a credit card. If you must, wait until you are at least 30. Before 30, you don't have the maturity or restraint to avoid maxing them out. Clothes, shoes and purses are fun- paying for them for 20 years is not.


3. Never choose a boy over your family. If your family thinks he's a bad choice, turn and run in the other direction.


4. Your parents know more than you. They will always know more than you. No matter how old you are- this will never change.


5. Never go on a second date with a man who is rude to the waitress. Eventually he'll treat you the same.


6. Love isn't a good enough reason to get married. You will fall in and out of love more than once in your life. Marriage isn't easy and it takes more than love.


7. Life isn't fair. The sooner you learn that, the happier you'll be. That one is from grandpa. I heard it all the time growing up, but it took a long time for me to understand it. To translate- don't dwell on the fact something is unfair and don't convince yourself you are a victim because unfair things happen to you. You just have to accept it and move on.


8. You don't have to win every argument you get in to. Backing down, even if the other person is wrong, doesn't make you weak. It makes you mature. But NEVER let someone walk all over you. That is a fine line. But the older you get, the easier it is to find.


9. ALWAYS apologize when you are wrong. It is the difference between being a mature, decent adult and being a perpetual baby. Remember- It's okay to be wrong. You look like more of a fool explaining why you weren't wrong than you do apologizing and moving on


10. Don't let failures or bad men leave you jaded. Things always get better.


11. Determination is the key to success. That sounds like a cliché, but it is true. If you want something, don't stop till you get it. Laziness gets you nowhere. You are entitled to nothing.


12. We treat you as if the sun shines out of your ass. When you get into the real world, others will not find every little thing you do as spectacular as we do. Don't let it affect your confidence.


13. You will eventually reach an age when it is no longer acceptable to wear jeans so long you step on the back of them. Once you are out of college, you are too old. Find a good tailor.


14. It is never okay to be cruel to someone.


15. Never trust anyone who doesn't like dogs.


16. Manners matter!! Another cliché, but so so true. Nothing will make you look like a redneck more than poor manners. If you are in a situation in which you are unsure of the proper etiquette, here are the bare bones to manners- be polite, put a napkin on your lap, chew with your mouth closed, say please and thank you, offer your seat to pregnant/elderly women, and always hold the door for people. Even if you never learn everything about proper etiquette, you will do fine in life just remembering the things above.


17. Don't let TV/movies cause disillusion and unhappiness in your life. No man is like the men on TV. They have writers creating their persona. These characters are not based off of real men. The sooner you learn that, the better off you'll be. Just like you, they are flawed. It is good to have high standards, but keep them reasonable.


18. Never let a man keep you from your friends. If he wants to, there is something wrong with him.


19. Never let someone convince you that you aren't smart enough, good enough or qualified enough to do something you want to do. You have the skills to do anything you set your mind to.


20. When you find a good man, treat him well. They aren't easy to come by.


I think that is enough to get you through HS and College. After you graduate from college, start a career, and get married- I will have a lot more widsom for you! Happy Birthday, Taylor Nicole! :)