And yes, I realize I am insane.
Good afternoon fellow blog readers-
I have very much enjoyed reading my mommy's blog and have now decided to test my skills as a writer. I wanted to share some important things I have learned in my long 11 years. Things I think could benefit everyone- even if they are of the human variety.
Although I am malodorous, have an unpleasant, continuous cough and love to eat sticks, poop and snow, don't let that deceive you. I believe I have some wisdom you will find beneficial. So, please take these little nuggets of wisdom and apply them to your own life.
Never do something yourself if someone else is willing to do it for you.
I have chosen to live by this mantra and it has always served me well. I prefer not to walk from one spot to another. No matter how short the distance. I have learned if I stand in one spot long enough, people lose their patience and put me on my magic dog bed that transports me everywhere I wish to go. I no longer have to make the long walk from the couch to the back door. I simply step upon my magic bed and get pulled wherever my heart desires. I really enjoy my Marlon Brando-esque figure. In order to keep it, I need to remain as immobile as possible.
When it snows, go outside and eat until your heart is content. Snow is a delicacy that isn't available in the off season. Eat as much snow as you can, while you can. But, stay away from the yellow snow. Although I do enjoy poop on occasion, even I know to stay away from yellow snow.
The louder you bark, the easier it is for people to understand you and follow your orders.
If someone isn't responding quick enough or if they are not following your orders the way you had instructed, just bark louder. It always seems to help them understand that you need something and need it immediately. Continue to increase the volume until they respond.
Savor your snausages
There is nothing more enjoyable than snack time, except maybe breakfast time or dinner time. When you get your snack, don't gobble it down. Carry your snausage back to the rug and play with it for awhile. Throw it up as high as it will go and then pounce on it when it lands on the floor. Then, when you can't wait any longer, enjoy it one bite at a time.
Get at lest 22 hours of sleep a day.
This is probably the most important bit of wisdom I can give you. The correct amount of sleep is vital. I would prefer to get in more than 22 hours a day, but my busy schedule of pooping and eating doesn't always allow for it. Make sure you set aside time to get your 22 hours in.
I think that covers all the high points. I may choose to write again in the future if I feel I have anymore jewels to pass along.
Until then, nap well my friends.
