I want to punch Jillian Michaels

Okay, so not really. Because...I'm kind of afraid of her. But, this morning, I was really thinking about it.

After a month of procrastination, I finally started Jillian's 30 day shred. With only 31 days until we leave for Spring Break, I have not a moment to waste.

I was at Target one day to buy the Shake Weight- awesome purchase, I know. As I was perusing their work out stuff, I saw that Jillian's 30 day shred was only $10. In big letters across the front it says you can lose up to 20lbs in 30 days. Since I weigh twice as much as Jillian, I took that to mean lose AT LEAST 20lbs in 30 days. So, I bought it.

The idea behind this is circuit training. It is a total of 20 minutes. You do 3 minutes of strength training, 2 minutes of cardio and 1 minute of abs.

Since I am a master procrastinator- especially when it comes to exercise. I waited until I had only 30 days left to complete it. So, today is day 1 of 30.

I got on my exercise clothes, got out my yoga mat and weights and I was ready to go. I quickly realized there is some sort of disconnect in my head- I think I can do anything. There are very few things I think I can't do. This is thanks to a very supportive mother. She thinks I'm good at everything, so I believe her. I went into this workout thinking it was going to be a breeze. I can do anything for 20 minutes! Wrong!

Got through the warm up and was already breathing heavy. This wasn't boding well. Did my 3 minutes of strength- burned, but I did it. Barely got through my 2 minutes of cardio and learned that I need a better sports bra. I spent those 2 minutes trying to figure out if these girls had fake boobs or if their bras were just made out of steel. Why don't their boobs move? While doing the jumping jacks, I had to hold onto mine because they felt like they were going to fall off. This was a $50 sports bra from Dicks! Where do you find a better one? Do they make sports bras for girls with big boobs? The boob discussion going on in my head was interupted by Jillian as we moved down to our mats for abs. I was thankful to be able to lay down. Made it through the 1 minute of abs and was ready to do the cool down, only to realize this wasn't the end- there were 2 more sets to go. We had to start all over again. I was hoping the workout was only that 6 minutes and the other14 would be filled with warm up and cool down. No such luck. So, I started round 2 and thought I was going to die. Made it through another 6 minutes of strength, cardio and abs. When they got up to do the 3rd set. I stayed parked on my yoga mat, a hot panting mess. I decided I would let them finish it out on their own and I would just lay there and watch.

I eventually recovered enough to get up and head to the shower. My body had turned to jello. I had no control over my limbs. Managed to take a shower, brush my teeth and put clothes on. Don't ask any more of me today.

I know what is coming. Days of being unable to move without pain. Since I think Trotter would be unwilling to push me around in my grandma's wheelchair for the next couple days, I need to think of something. I'm going to force myself to keep moving- so the lactic acid doesn't get a chance to accumulate.

After lunch today, I'm going to head downstairs and get on the Eliptical for about 20 minutes. Just enough to warm my muscles up. Then when I get home tonight, I'm going to do a light workout on my Wii. I'm hoping if I keep this up for a couple days, I will be able to get through this 30 workout remaining upright and mobile.

I'm expecting big results. We leave for Spring Break March 27. I want to lose 30lbs in 30 days. Lofty goal, I know. But, when you weigh as much as I do, I think it should be within the realm of possibility.

Last year, April and I were going on our family vacations a week apart. So, we spent almost 3 months in the gym before we left doing 2 hour a day work outs. I lost 10lbs in that 3 months- crap! I was so frustrated. I cancelled my membership when we got back and haven't stepped foot back in there.

It all comes down to me though. Throughout my life, I have perfected the art of half-assery. Especially when it comes to diet and exercise. I never do both at the same time. I convince myself that if I'm working out, I can eat the things I want. And when I'm restricting my calories, I convince myself that is enough and I don't need to work out. Well, I'm trying to break that. I am going to do it all. Diet, exercise, supplements- all at once. We'll see what happens!
I will report back on my progress and the success of the 30 day shred- but only if it is good news. If I quit or if I don't lose as much as I want to, I will never speak of this again.